Worst fucking heartburn always comes at 2 am. Not cool, man. Pass the Tums, STAT!
• I’ve been braces free for almost 15 years, yet I still wear my retainer a few nights a week. With my pjs on, makeup free face and my hair in a bun, I feel like I’m 14 years old again.
• I was supposed to go out tonight. Obviously it didn’t happen.
• This week has been weird.
• I watched both seasons of House of Cards this week and now I’m mad that I binge watched it instead of taking it slow and enjoying it. I love/hate Netflix for this reason.
• Is it June yet? It needs to be June.
Chatty Cathy over here tonight. Goodness.
My sister asked yesterday if I wanted to go on an impromptu double date with her and a coworker friend of hers this weekend. “Invite your friend (or whatever he is) and come see a movie,” she suggested. She didn’t want to get her coworker friend’s hopes up that it’s an “official” date because she’s still not ready to jump into the dating scene.
I thought about it and shot off a text to my friend (what the hell do I call this guy? Obviously not by his real name. I think abbreviations are weird and so are nicknames. We’ll just stick to “my friend.”). I mentioned that since he’s paid for the last two outings, I’d pick up the movie tickets. He replied that he may not make it since it’s been a busy week, he’d let me know come mid afternoon and that in no way would he allow me to pay for tickets. “That’s not how I do things,” he specifically replied.
Um. Okay. I feel like such a stupid girl wanting to clarify whatever we have going on without specifically saying it. In my mind, if we’re both equally paying for dinner or movies, we’re just friends. Since he has shot down every offer I’ve made to cover my expenses, I’m wondering if there’s more to this.
Stupid brain. 1999 called. It wants it’s middle school girl problems back.
I’m stuck between, “I lost some weight, I hate looking and feeling the way I do at my current weight, I see a little progress, keep going, keep going, keep going!” And, “Eff that run. I’m too tired, chocolate chip cookies taste so good, so does this French bread, and that can of Sprite, tomorrow’s a better day to exercise and I’m perfectly content with what I look like, but only in these clothes, at this angle, with that filter.”
I guess what I’m saying is that I fell off the wagon. Again. Shit.